i hate the fact that you had to die without me knowing 4 months later. i hate the fact that I AM SO NOT CLOSE TO YOU AT ALL. and we live like a million effing miles aopart and i feel this sudden hole in my heart coz ur apart of my childhood. and the fact that freaking kevjumba now reminds me of you. pfft!

and idk i dnt wanna delete this and pretend i never thought about it.

okay im gonna tell u exactly how i feel in the most possible civilised manner. my childhood revolved around my early years in kindergarten and u were that entity forever there. mysterious figure who shows up now and then. u were the reason why i thought "clueless" was written for us HAHAHA.

anyway you played a huge role in my childhood. i hope my kids will have a chidlhood with a first grade entity so that they can carry a piece of u wherever they'll go. i noe i have.

its been 2 weeks since i found out and i still wonder what was going thru ur mind. but most of all virginia and the old neighbourhood.god i miss that place evenmore my childhood.anyway my point is , if you know you had a chance to keep intouch with an old fren. just do it. take every chance u have even if it may seem like stalking some strange dude in ur early years on facebook. only realising there a gazilion ppl with the same last name. never say never. there is alot about life which allah is always testing us. i never expected i'd be too late to atleast say hello to ppl i once knew even if it meant there were occasional awkward pauses in our conversation. i wish i knew what went on in ur head when ur were kid not that fateful nite. i waited forever to finally keep in touch with old frens and when i finally did it happened so quickly a speed of light blink of an eye a nanosecond. ARGH.

sarah dessen once wrote in her books (how to deal) when michael sherwood a childhood fren of hallie passed away in a car accident. this is exactly how i expected hallie to feel like. totally dead, even if it was someone else who went first.u feel so weird and hallow somehow.i never had a fren who was my age who died before me. and even if im not mourning or anything sometimes i wish i took a chance in first grade to say hi. i mean sure he was always blending in the background ever so shy and polite whereas i budak degil always messing up didnt have the guts to even say hello. AND LOOK HAPPENED

10 years later where are we?no existant! i'd like to take this opportunity to give my deepest condolonces to the andersons . i am sorry for ur loss. even if i said this many times already somhow it doesnt compensate the fact the he's gone.

till then.,take this as a valuable lesson. keep ur frens in touch with u. u never noe which one is gonna leave u. -including the shy boy in ur first grade class. that still includes him

love always,

Nadzlin Yunos

greetings. cut the crap and let's keep it moving. these days are moving so fast and there are the days that are moving so god damn slow i swear i can hear the clock ticking in my ear. argh. banyak kerja tambah stress is SPM man. i just cant wait till its over. and then i feel like i need more time. like wth la. god is testing me in many ways. so im trying to take the high road. so what's new?

not much went to kancil crash course did the same old. busy doing random shit. and then met and old friend which i haave to say has grown taller. kinda missed the old times in primary pulak. and then lepak at AC skejap makan tacoyaki  ahahha and den i accidently TER-masok the men's toilet. TOTAL ACCIDENT hahah i swear AC toilets need to be clearer.  I MEAN REALLY. i thought it was a skirt. ahah anway. ate tacoyaki not as nice as pyramid's la. and den khairie came with umar , went back to class. and MY GOD

I HAD TO SIT NEXT TO THE WORST BEING EVER EXISTED. ergh as i was busy paying attention to the physics lesson ceyy THIS BLOODY IDIOT sat next to the empty seat and started swearing on the fone coz his fren wont come into class. LIKE WTH suka hati dia la kalau tak nak masok. yang kau sibuk2 sgt ckp mcm gila kuat. ERGH. stupid boy! and it wasnt just once. i had to put up with his behaviour fro 2 solid hours. i  was so close at slapping him.

anywayy. had setia installation at parade. rite after class changed my shorts and went straight to the restaurant.i went there everyone looked freaking stoned.leanne was like fiddling with her fone looking half dead, and the juniors were eating.dead at first and then later was much better.. madness. whcihc i shall never repeat., so exhausted. lepak2 jap took photos and went to MPH even when they announced parade was about to close in 15 mins. bought some stuff and went home.not sure what time i came home. i was just so tired.as i recal i woke up at 8 that morning and slep at 2 something.

moving on, my sister's leaving soon. studying at Indiana University, this wednesday i think. we'll miss her (i think) ahhahaha. the solid rock of the family man. i mean she is a bit psycho.i'll miss doing stupid things with her. like the time we threw wet tissues on the ceilings or climbed trees and teman her at 2 in th emorning just to buy credit. fun times man. i cant wait to wreck the kancil when she's gone hahaha .

my eldest sister is busy getting ready for her huge wedding thing. repainting the walls soon and buying bed sheets. bla2 bla2

haish, action never stops. and my parents are doing fine. my dad keeps coming in and out teaching on certain weeks. i hardly see him. and then there's me keeping myself busy. trying to be as productive la sgt :P.

skipped school alot this week, :S how productive is that?ahahah

anyway i shall leave now. esok ada class. HAIH i shall miss this blog. note i won't be updating soon. lots of things to do. in the mean time, i hope this will keeep u entertained.cut the crap and let's keep it moving people!

loads of love,

SHASHA

heyyy. it's nice to meet you again. thank you for visiting this modest blog of mine. no photos to entertain you just a few memoirs to etch a mark in all your lives. i sound so cheesy yeah i just had this looooooong inspirational talk. it hit me if i really wanted to do something in my life i'd have to believe in myself. the unwavering, endless and utter faith that yes i can really and actually do it. so this whole week was more of a soul searching experience for me. some of the people that has deeply affected me in many ways, i shall qoute:

"you have to feel the pain now, so that once the results come back you won't be worried about ur results coz u've already experienced the worst"-Hanisah Sharil

"it's okay shaa. you're not alone. 4 more months lagii"-Izyan Hasnan

"alaar shaa, its like right right wrong (you may not understand this ahahha but it really stuck to me forever.)-Farah Ardlina

"Allah sayang akan kita, sbb dia nak kita ingatkan dia selalu. Bila kita ditimpa masalah baru kita ingat dgn tuhan, betul tak?"-Nur Aimi Adnan

"YES YOU CAN LARGHH. KENDOIT WAN"-Nadzirah Yunos

"just anggap it never happened, and start again"-Faridah Abu Bakar

"If you feel sorry for yourself, you will never learn anything"-some girl from catholic high forgot her name ahaha

"I have faith in you"-Mohd Yunos Mohd Salleh

"Nadzlinnn, you sure can wan lah"-Matthew Moo Kah Meng

"Berdoa banyak2, tuhan suka bila umatnya meminta dan ingat padanya"-Grandma

"Minta daripada aku dan aku akan berikan"-Firman Allah S.W.T

"dan Allah S.W.T  akan menguji umatnya mengikut kesanggupan dan kemampuan"

all these words will forever remain with me. simply priceless but one of the reasons why i never gave up. Thank you so much for ur support. I really hope i will get what i want. And trust me, my chances are half-chanced and so are yours. so this is me spreading the love to all those candidates whether bright or dim, there is a possibility. we just have to reach out and grab it.

enuff emo-ing., went to my interview hari tuh. okay la suma mcm nampak sangat nak tunjuk diri hebat. kind of expected.

my interviewers, alhamdulilah okay. they were nice tanya banyak psl personality. i am lucky .

anyway i gtg. sleep esok TALENT QUEST. please come and support ur idols. :) oodles of love!

p.s:// pray for me.